Solicitors, ugh...

So, I’ve got a cranky pre-schooler that needs some quiet time to recover from a rough night and marginally better day. Cue the solicitor…

Despite having a No Solicitation plaque on the window by front door we still get a fair number of bold and/or stupid solicitors. Yesterday, got the familiar ring ring and knock on the door. I was pretty sure it was a solicitor, but I am expecting a visit from landscaper, so I thought I’d better answer the door. Some solicitors will also continue to beat on the door if they don’t get a timely response.

Of course, its a couple of solicitor guys. I open the door and politely point to the sign and got the standard response, “oh, don’t worry we’re not selling anything.” oh, ok, then why are you here? “we’re with XYZ roofing and would like to talk to you about your roof.” I use the cheat code to escape, “oh, ok. we’re renters, KTHXBYE. by the way, please heed to the no solicitation signs.” One of the guys actual response? “Sorry, we’re dyslexic.”

I didn’t get the name of the company, but now I wish I did. The home office should probably know about the clowns that have on the street for them.

In light of this interaction, I’m considering a few upgrades to my solicitor policies:

• Upgrade my no solicitors sign (and move it right next to the doorbell button.) Alternatives for new sign content:
  • “Solicitors will be shot, survivors will be shot again.”
  • “By ringing this doorbell, you are subject to a non-refundable solicitation fee of $20, payable in cash only, prior to talking to resident. Failure to comply will result in door being slammed in your face.”
• After opening the door, immediately ask for a business card (with personal number for the solicitor ideally) and then say “Thank you for ignoring my no solicitors sign, I’ll be filing a complaint with Chandler police.”